Boundaries: 3 Reasons You Need Boundaries
The end of 2022 is here with only two months left before we're dropping the ball to welcome in 2023. While these last two months can be full of seasonal festivities, gatherings and fellowship, reflection of the year, and anticipation for the next year. The end of the year could also bring some of the following scenarios:
-You get invited to too many social gatherings and you feel obligated to going to all of them.
-Your family has grand expectation of you for the holidays and you don’t want to let them down
-That one relative that just has no filter and says disrespectful things and makes you upset
-You’ve reflected upon the year and you’re tired and burnt out
If you resonate with any of these scenarios, your “boundaries” could be evaluated. According to author/therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, boundaries are “expectations and needs that help you feel safe in your relationships.” Not having boundaries could result in unmet needs and expectations, people pleasing, and even unnecessary problems in your life. Below are three reasons to have boundaries in your life.
1. Boundaries are not what you can’t/won’t, but what you can/will.
Oftentimes, boundaries are viewed as big NO-NO’s that are limiting and not fun. Most people don’t have boundaries because or do not uphold their boundaries because they are afraid of hurting others’ feelings. While boundaries are rules that manage expectations, they looking at them from the opposite perspective is beneficial. Boundaries can be straight forward and indicative of all the things you can and are willing to do versus all the things that you truthfully are not willing or want to do.
2. Boundaries help to keep your morals and values in check.
Boundaries can be based on your morals and values. Your morals and values are the compass that guides you and life. Sometimes when there is a lack of boundaries, it could cause you to go against the morals and values and leave you feeling sad, regretful, resentful, and even angry at yourself. When you incorporate boundaries, you are able to uphold your morals and values and these morals and values are good for helping you to define your boundaries.
3. Boundaries allow you to show up as your best self!
When you think about and start to practice boundary setting, you are able to be upfront about who are, what you can and will do, and actually do just that. When you are your best self, it alleviates in any negative emotions and confusion and you can appear confident and sure of yourself and your actions.